They were living to
themselves: self, with its hopes, and promises, and dreams, still had hold of
them; but the Lord began to fulfill their prayers. They had asked for
contrition, and He sent them sorrow; they had asked for purity, and He sent
them thrilling anguish; they had asked to be meek, and He had broken their
hearts; they has asked to be dead to the world, and He slew all their living
hopes; they had asked to be made like unto Him, and He placed them in the
furnace, sitting by "as a refiner of silver," till they should
reflect His image; they had asked to lay hold of His cross, and when He had
reached it out to them, it lacerated their hands. They had asked they knew not
what, nor how; but He had taken them at their word, and granted them all their
petitions. They were hardly willing to follow so far, or to draw so nigh to
Him. They had upon them an awe and fear, as Jacob at Bethel, or Eliphaz in the
night visions, or as the apostles when they thought they had seen the spirit,
and knew not that it was Jesus. They could almost pray Him to depart from them,
or to hide His awefulness. They found it easier to obey than to suffer--to do
than to give up--to bear the cross than to hang upon it: but they cannot go
back, for they have come too near the unseen cross, and its virtues have
pierced too deeply within them. He is fulfilling to them his promise, "And
I, if I be lifted up, will draw all men unto me.
But now, at last,
their turn is come. Before, they had only heard of the mystery, but now they
feel it. He has fastened on them His look of love, as He did on Mary and Peter,
and they cannot but choose to follow. Little by little, from time to time, by flitting
gleams the mystery of His cross shines upon them. They behold Him lifted
up--they gaze upon the glory which rays forth from the wound of His holy
passion; and as they gaze, they advance, and are changed into His likeness, and
His name shines out through them, for he dwells in them. They live alone with
Him above, in unspeakable fellowship; willing to lack what others own, and to
be unlike all, so that they are only like him.
"Such are they
in all ages who follow the Lamb whithersoever He goeth. Had they chosen for
themselves, or their friends chosen for them, they would have chosen otherwise.
They would have been brighter here, but less glorious in His kingdom. They would
have had Lot's portion, not Abraham's. If they had halted anywhere--if He had
taken off His hand, and let them stray back--what would they have lost? What
forfeits in the morning of the resurrection? But He stayed them up, even
against themselves. Many a time their foot had well-nigh slipped; but He, in
mercy, held them up; now, even in this life, they know all he did was done
well. It was good for them to suffer here, for they shall reign hereafter--to
bear the cross below, for they shall wear the crown above; and that not their
will but His was done on them.
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